Quick lunch – not eating – blah

I came home on lunch rather than sitting in the break room. My mind is spinning, my thighs feel fat, and I’m starving. I’m doing pretty well with the no gluten and no soda’s while at work; water is even going down easier. Quiet time hasn’t really happened much besides listening to music here and there — I guess writing emails on faith to close friends counts though 😉

Found out today that I get to train in “Price Coordination” next week at the grocery store, which has me feeling happy. They want to cross-train two of us in how it works in case the two main ladies aren’t there. I’m really excited! I have been checking/ sacking for nearly 6months and it feels great knowing I’ll be able to move up a little! I train next week during the day, which means I’ll have less time to shadow at the law office. Shadowing isn’t paying my bills and once January 12th rolls around, my whole life will revolve around the law office and the training there – it will all have to balance out.

I’m going to come home and exercise this evening after work. I’ll grab my iPod, change into shorts and a tshirt, then hit the treadmill for a while. I can’t push myself too far, as I still have work in the morning. My RSD is up and down, so there is no telling exactly how much exercise I’ll get through without causing unnecessary pain. I can’t depend on exercise or diet alone – I have to combine the two and take it slow.

One of my coworkers at the grocery store lost his sister in a tragic accident over the weekend. All of the passengers were teenagers and all were drinking. The oldest person was 15 and the legal age for driving where I live is 16. I’m angry about this because I see how it impacting my friends at work — many of them went to school with her and we all know her brother, who has since gone missing. I don’t handle death and now I’m being forced to deal with it AGAIN. My coworkers are grieving because they lost a classmate/ friend/ sister. They lost her out of stupidity! I’m angry about this and I wish there was something that I could do… but I feel helpless right now.

My brain is physically spinning around inside of my head. My stomach is hitting my throat because I’m hungry. I feel like I’m going to gag or vomit, with my state of dehydration not helping much… despite drinking lots of water.

It’s New Year’s Eve, I’m alone… AND I have to work at 930a tomorrow.

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