My goal is to live transparently. This doesn’t mean telling everyone my secrets, it just means living honestly and openly — not allowing my past or my present or my future to hurt anyone intentionally, which is what SECRETS allow…. SECRETS allow pain… SECRETS allow isolation and often create it.
This rant and rave is the result of someone from my past becoming all shocked about something she was naive enough to post online to begin with…
I have grown past this “private blogging stuff” and the only thing I have PRIVATE is my writing journal, because of copyright. My personal journal, I could care less who reads. I don’t give enough information for an employer to find out and unless you are given a link — you probably don’t know it exists… unless you are part of a discussion group/ blog of which I participate. My poetry, I type for my own sake and it gives me a way to share it easier with those I choose.
I grew up in a family of secrets and the lesson I learned is that secrets do more damage than good – at least in the long run. They only keep people away, trick and deceive, and protect falsely. If you can’t say it aloud, you probably don’t need to be saying it anyway. Writing it down is just a way to make your thoughts make noise. If you make noise ONLINE with your thoughts, then be prepared for people who you don’t expect to be listening…
The only thing secrets promote is a false sense of control. God knows everything about our lives. We aren’t really keeping anything a “secret” and we are not really in control of anything. My faith is something I am working on diligently. I have learned so many people I once considered friends who call themselves Christian don’t walk their talk, especially when it comes to forgiveness and love.
Forgiveness includes moving on, but also working through… and you can’t fully work through something without coming to terms with the truth. Our individual perceptions are often wrong, skewed, and emotionally impacted. Confronting the sources we believe caused us pain in our past shows maturity and dignity. It also proves we have God by our side. We have to face our demons.
This has happened many times before and is happening in not only my personal life all over again, but also my work life. My work life has taught me how better to handle my personal life when it comes to forgiveness — you must give *it* time. Time and love from God will heal, not make things perfect. Perfection will only happen in Heaven.
I am having to let go and let God, A LOT, in my life right now. Friendships have been shattered, others just stretched, and others tested. Patience has never been one of my virtues. I have so many areas of my life to work on the mountain seems impossible to climb. I am working on one struggle at a time and trying to give a little more over to God each day. I am not good at giving up control or my false sense of control, but I know control is tied to secrecy…. and transparency is tied to God. I want to be tied to God.
Hi Cassandra,
Did you ever wonder what would happen if people really said what they were thinking or how they were feeling about something, instead of hiding behind a mask (I believe the Bible calls it being a hypocrite…pretending to be something you aren’t.)
I know we don’t have to be a ‘butt’ about it, but just politely express our thoughts and let people know where we stand on any issue. Then we could learn to accept people for who they are and not try to change them.
True love gives, expecting nothing in return. We can chose to love someone, just because thats our choice. Then, if they return that love both of us have gained. But, if they refuse to return that love, they are the ones that lose.
When we are transparent, as you say, then we don’t have to worry about trying to hide things. What a freedom that gives us.
“Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free”
Wish you the best.
Reuben
Reuben,
Thank you for your thoughtful response. I don’t like masks and honesty would be better than the alternative, however many of us (including myself sometimes), aren’t always ready to hear what we don’t “want” to hear.
So often we say things and already have the answer in mind that we want to hear, then rebel against anything that conflicts with it — which only contributes to living with our masks on.
Striving for openness, striving for honesty, striving for giving everything to God is a constant challenge. We must give up complete conscious control of everything. Admit we are powerless and proclaim who is the Power of our lives. This is difficult!
Transparency is part of recovery, which is the path I am nagivating. Some days in my recovery I am very transparent, other days I don’t recognize myself in the mirror – I don’t recognize my own smile or what words are coming out of my mouth. Those days frighten me, but I am slowly learning to take those days as “detours”… and they serve to make me more determined than ever to get back to road to God. God is the only One who can save me from me.
Once again, many sincere thanks for your response. It made me think today and I am grateful to our Savior for the keen timing of your chosen words. It is a wonderful way to start off my “day”! (big smiles)