I need distance right now. I’m in a “freak out mode” and I’m feeling myself lock up within my skin. I’m not able to respond to what my sponsor has posted in response to things I have posted… and I don’t feel as though I can write to her about what is going [...]
Archive for the ‘relationships’ Category
Distance
Posted in boundaries, coping, friends, fuck off, honesty, loneliness, privacy, recovery, relationships, scared, self hate, self-injury, self-mutilation, shame, tagged AA, anger, cutting, fuck it, invisible, looney bin, mental hospital, secret, sponsor, stitches on February 10, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Week from hell…
Posted in angry, anxiety, boundaries, braces, control, faith, friends, honesty, lessons learned, orthodontics, recovery, relationships, self-injury, work, tagged debanding, emotions, Friday, God, hell, hygenist, Monday, music, orthodontist, pink eye, powerchains, sponsor, Sunday, telephone, Thursday, Tuesday, Wednesday on February 7, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
My last entry was actually a draft that I wrote up mid-week and thought I would publish — it makes me laugh now that I look at it/ read it! It was written on Wednesday, I think, as that was the first day I left work in complete tears… threatening to never come back [...]
Starting over in 2009
Posted in angry, boundaries, change, coping, crochet, faith, friends, guilt, honesty, lessons learned, orthodontics, privacy, recovery, relationships, self-injury, self-worth, shame, stress, suicide, understanding, work, tagged Bible, cell phone, compassion, emergency room, future, grace, love, mistakes, scars, smile, stitches, vote on December 28, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Sometimes a sermon really gets to me and today I heard one of those sermons – it was straight to the point, no candy coating, and hit home in places I wasn’t quite ready to explore… yet I’m needing to explore… so I’m typing my thoughts out I can get a better grasp of them.
According [...]
Thinking about “moms”
Posted in angry, depressed, family, friends, honesty, hugs, love, relationships, tagged abuse, birth, bond, brother, connection, foster care, grandparents, massage therapy, mental illness, mom, mother, needs, sister, smoking, victim, women on December 17, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
… and how I often feel like I don’t have a real mom. I have ladies in my life who have played the part here and there, but I’ve never really had a mom. I’m grateful for those who have come and gone in my life and have helped in this way, but [...]
What the heck I’ve been up to…
Posted in braces, depressed, discouraged, eating disorder, exhausted, faith, feelings, finances, frustrated, honesty, lessons learned, orthodontics, recovery, relationships, scared, self-injury, stress, suicide, unemployed, work, tagged bills, cleaning, friendship, grocery store, new job, profanity, roommate, stitches on December 11, 2008 | 4 Comments »
Yeah, well… I’m a changed woman! My life has been more of a whirlwind these last few months than much of anything else. Not totally sure what to make of the mess I have made and others have made, but I’m trying to turn that around and focus a little more on faith.
We [...]
A new trigger…
Posted in Celebrate Recovery, church, control, coping, faith, fuck off, guilt, honesty, lessons learned, pain, recovery, relationships, self-injury, self-mutilation, shame, stress, tired, tagged AA, blood, celebration, church, cutter, emergency room, grace, scars, self-harm, stitches, vagina on October 26, 2008 | 1 Comment »
It has been one hell of a past three weeks and now I’m almost not sure what to do because well, it appears as though fertility is my latest trigger – actually, it has to do with the blood my body is passing as result of me not getting pregnant this month. I cannot [...]
