I’m in a bad mood today. I woke up feeling dread and for some reason could not shake it, even at church. I sat and cried.
I was supposed to give my sponsor my self-injury tools this morning. I brought them with me and then didn’t have the courage to approach her after [...]
Archive for the ‘guilt’ Category
Feeling scattered
Posted in anxiety, faith, feelings, frustrated, guilt, honesty, orthodontics, self-worth, shame, sick, stress, understanding, work, tagged chores, duty, email, hunger, ketosis, law office, lyrics, vomit on December 30, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Back to faith again… writing about it has made me want responses on faith, so I have used some of my recent blog entries as the inspiration for some emails. I have needed responses to my thoughts and feelings on faith from those who know me outside of these written words. I have [...]
Starting over in 2009
Posted in angry, boundaries, change, coping, crochet, faith, friends, guilt, honesty, lessons learned, orthodontics, privacy, recovery, relationships, self-injury, self-worth, shame, stress, suicide, understanding, work, tagged Bible, cell phone, compassion, emergency room, future, grace, love, mistakes, scars, smile, stitches, vote on December 28, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Sometimes a sermon really gets to me and today I heard one of those sermons – it was straight to the point, no candy coating, and hit home in places I wasn’t quite ready to explore… yet I’m needing to explore… so I’m typing my thoughts out I can get a better grasp of them.
According [...]
A new trigger…
Posted in Celebrate Recovery, church, control, coping, faith, fuck off, guilt, honesty, lessons learned, pain, recovery, relationships, self-injury, self-mutilation, shame, stress, tired, tagged AA, blood, celebration, church, cutter, emergency room, grace, scars, self-harm, stitches, vagina on October 26, 2008 | 1 Comment »
It has been one hell of a past three weeks and now I’m almost not sure what to do because well, it appears as though fertility is my latest trigger – actually, it has to do with the blood my body is passing as result of me not getting pregnant this month. I cannot [...]
Why I haven’t blogged…
Posted in angry, annoyed, church, crochet, depressed, discouraged, exhausted, faith, feelings, finances, friends, guilt, honesty, hugs, insomnia, loneliness, pain, relationships, scared, self hate, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-injury, shame, sick, sleep, stress, tired, understanding, work, yarn, tagged Aflac, ankle, bitch, blessings, Casting Crowns, checker, chronic pain, cross, evicted, fair, flooding, flu, fuck off, glasses, groceries, moody, pissed off, praise, Race for the Cure, rain, relay, sacker, schedule, Texas Tech, wrist on September 14, 2008 | 1 Comment »
… is relatively simple – I’ve been in a pissed off, angry at the f-ing world mood. Stress is killing me… but I haven’t cut since the day I got fired from Relay, so I have actually accomplished SOMETHING positive, maybe?!
Clearing crap up with Relay on Monday wasn’t the best of all ways to [...]
2 Years
Posted in TMJ, angry, annoyed, anxiety, braces, church, damon brackets, deaf, depressed, discouraged, eating disorder, exhausted, faith, finances, friends, frustrated, fuck off, guilt, honesty, hugs, loneliness, orthodontics, relationships, scared, school, self-injury, self-mutilation, self-worth, shame, stress, teaching, tired, unemployed, weight, tagged anniversary, apartment, cutting, fat, fear, hope, roommmate, skinny, writing on September 5, 2008 | 2 Comments »
I moved into my apartment 2yrs ago.
I started the job I no longer have, 2yrs ago.
I was skinny 2yrs ago.
I was relieved 2yrs ago.
I had a roommate 2yrs ago.
I was hopeful 2yrs ago.
I’m still in the same apartment now.
I no longer have the same job.
I’m really FAT now.
I am scared to death now.
I live alone, [...]
Blessing and a curse
Posted in angry, anxiety, change, church, coping, depressed, faith, feelings, finances, friends, gratitude, guilt, self-injury, shame, stress, understanding, unemployed, work, tagged cry, cutting, God, Gustav, hurricane, job hunting, New Orleans, stability, tears, teenagers on August 31, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I made it to church today because I figured if I was going to work my feet into the ground, the least I could was walk on them into the place where I knew God could reach me. I cried the entire service.
I go to a Life Group with all adults and [...]
