I made it to church this morning and faced my fear – which was possibly seeing my old boss there AND his wife, however my fear was much more focused on the boss himself… Seeing him made me physically need to vomit, so I avoided him. I didn’t see his wife at first, [...]
Archive for the ‘avoidance’ Category
Hard time
Posted in angry, anxiety, avoidance, coping, depressed, discouraged, exhausted, family, feelings, food, friends, frustrated, pain, self-injury, stress, unemployed, work, tagged ashamed, cutter, depressed, fired, hard, secrets, struggling, upset on August 29, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Yup, the title pretty much sums things up right now. Not doing too hot, great, or even so-so. Just trying to pull myself around by my hair and pretend everything is “hunky dory”. No, I am not okay. No, I have not told many people about it and I don’t know [...]
Bye bye Relay
Posted in angry, annoyed, anxiety, avoidance, change, depressed, discouraged, exhausted, faith, feelings, finances, friends, frustrated, fuck off, gratitude, lessons learned, scared, self-injury, sick, stress, unemployed, work, tagged alone, depressed, finances, fired, frightened, job, relay, terminated on August 28, 2008 | 3 Comments »
I lost my job today.
Jet-lag
Posted in angry, annoyed, anorexia, anxiety, avoidance, crochet, depressed, discouraged, exhausted, friends, frustrated, fuck off, pain, school, sleep, stress, teaching, weight, work, writing, tagged bully, career, carpal tunnel, day, denial, depressed, diet, education, fair, graduate school, greatest virtue, grocery store, guys, jet lag, job interview, night, orthodontist, patience, physical space, powerade, practice, references, relay, sleeping, talk, wrist on August 27, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I haven’t been writing or responding to comments – muchless been reading other people’s blogs, so don’t take it too personally. I haven’t been sleeping either. I haven’t been doing much besides spinning my mental wheels. It is taking a lot out of me to even sit down and attempt to write [...]
Chronic heaviness
Posted in angry, annoyed, anxiety, avoidance, boundaries, coping, depressed, discouraged, exhausted, family, feelings, friends, hugs, insomnia, pain, sleep, stress, tagged ankle, chronic pain, coworkers, emotional, heavy, jaw, teasing, teeth, walls on August 13, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I can’t sleep because I start worrying about having to wake up. Insomina lasts forever when the pain overwhelms me to the point where I can’t sleep. I become anxious and tired and “heavy”.
Right now I’m confused as to what day of the week it is. I’m always awake it [...]
In the moment of today…
Posted in anorexia, anxiety, avoidance, braces, coping, crochet, finances, food, sick, work, tagged afghan, appetite, bite turbos, feedback, finances, guilt, invisible, iPod, music, nausea, needs, powerchains, relay, stomach, supervisor, talking, teeth on August 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
… I am going to have to talk with my supervisor – email or call her, neither of which I really want to do right now. I feel guilty needing feedback and support from her, which is stupid, but stupidity doesn’t make my feelings any less invisible.
I have almost put my entire [...]
