I couldn’t give K. my tools today. I needed to talk with her first and that wasn’t possible, so I took my tools home AGAIN. I need to get rid of my tools desperately, but I need to talk about what I’m doing to help myself process it all.
Fuck recovery. I can’t [...]
Archive for the ‘bulimia’ Category
I’m fucking pissed off
Posted in bulimia, eating disorder, self-injury, tagged binge, cut, purge, talk, tools on February 22, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Some realistic goals for 2009
Posted in anorexia, boundaries, bulimia, change, control, crochet, eating disorder, faith, food, honesty, palm, recovery, self-confidence, self-injury, self-worth, weight, tagged exercise, water, floss, RSD, reflex sympathetic dystrophy, goals, 2009, resolutions, soda pop, caffeine, quiet time, gluten-free, going green on December 28, 2008 | 3 Comments »
I wrote earlier on faith, which felt liberating. After writing here, I then had enough of my cobwebs out to compose a heartfelt and honest email on faith to a friend — now all I must do is await her reply.
Anyhow, I didn’t really speak of any specific goals last time because… well… it [...]
My little annoyances…
Posted in angry, annoyed, anorexia, bulimia, eating disorder, food, fuck off, tagged fake, immature, password, protect on December 15, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Humpf… I had to make a rational decision today – to password protect the most *popular* entry in my journal because the fine print wasn’t being respected, muchless read, by the desperate assholes reading and following it like a book.
I don’t like to password protect ANYTHING on this blog. I would rather password [...]
Between hell and hell
Posted in angry, annoyed, anorexia, anxiety, bulimia, change, crochet, depressed, discouraged, eating disorder, faith, finances, food, friends, honesty, self-injury, shame, sick, stress, suicide, tired, unemployed, work, tagged abandoned, cutting, fear, God, hell, job, obesity, starve, trust, vomit on September 3, 2008 | 2 Comments »
I’m unemployed, at least that is how I view myself (minus the grocery store), and I don’t know what I can do to change this situation — besides working at dead end positions with idiots!
When I came home last night, I literally collapsed and wanted to sob… and I did in fact cry. I [...]
Randomness
Posted in anorexia, braces, bulimia, change, control, coping, crochet, eating disorder, faith, feelings, food, friends, gratitude, insomnia, lessons learned, love, self-injury, sleep, stress, weight, tagged afghan, apartment, beauty, braces, community, crochet, diet, elastics, floss, grocery store, guys, lease, marriage, originality, pattern, purging, quality, rubber bands, sacker, scars, school, sleep, sleep deprivation, sour, sour candy, swimming, teacher, tears, teeth, walls on August 22, 2008 | 1 Comment »
- I think, well I hope I think, I have come up with the dreamest afghan to enter the local fair with. The pattern is complicated, yet simple in technique (except for the detailing), and is culturally significant. The theme is relative to the community right now and I believe it will stand [...]
Binging hurts my wallet, stomach, and spirit
Posted in Celebrate Recovery, bulimia, change, control, coping, depressed, discouraged, eating disorder, faith, feelings, finances, food, frustrated, lessons learned, pain, self-injury, stress, work, tagged bills, binge, binging, budget, Celebrate Recovery, confusion, dentist, doctor, empty, fat, fear, finances, hours, invisible, low, masculine, minimum wage, overwhelmed, PTO, relay, RSD, stomach, tummy, ugly, unattractive on July 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I have to stop binging or I’ll lose everything! I miscalculated my income this month and then I binged a little bit too much and I had some unexpected expenses come up. Yikes, it’ll be tight – but I’ll get through.
I have to stop doing this to myself. I am [...]
I’m fat
Posted in anorexia, bulimia, change, control, coping, eating disorder, food, friends, frustrated, lessons learned, pain, self-esteem, self-injury, sleep, weather, work, tagged 5k, ankle, cutting, exercise, health, pain management, physical fitness, purging, reflex sympathetic dystrophy, RSD, running, scars, self-injury, starving, walking on June 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I can’t take myself at my current weight. I am too big. None of my clothes fit and I am physically uncomfortable in my own skin.
I know why I have gained weight:
- lack of inactivity (working nights plays a role in this)
- attempting to recover from self-injury because I have used [...]
