I couldn’t give K. my tools today. I needed to talk with her first and that wasn’t possible, so I took my tools home AGAIN. I need to get rid of my tools desperately, but I need to talk about what I’m doing to help myself process it all.
Fuck recovery. I can’t [...]
Archive for the ‘coping’ Category
I’m fucking pissed off
Posted in bulimia, eating disorder, self-injury, tagged binge, cut, purge, talk, tools on February 22, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Distance
Posted in boundaries, coping, friends, fuck off, honesty, loneliness, privacy, recovery, relationships, scared, self hate, self-injury, self-mutilation, shame, tagged AA, anger, cutting, fuck it, invisible, looney bin, mental hospital, secret, sponsor, stitches on February 10, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
I need distance right now. I’m in a “freak out mode” and I’m feeling myself lock up within my skin. I’m not able to respond to what my sponsor has posted in response to things I have posted… and I don’t feel as though I can write to her about what is going [...]
Week from hell…
Posted in angry, anxiety, boundaries, braces, control, faith, friends, honesty, lessons learned, orthodontics, recovery, relationships, self-injury, work, tagged debanding, emotions, Friday, God, hell, hygenist, Monday, music, orthodontist, pink eye, powerchains, sponsor, Sunday, telephone, Thursday, Tuesday, Wednesday on February 7, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
My last entry was actually a draft that I wrote up mid-week and thought I would publish — it makes me laugh now that I look at it/ read it! It was written on Wednesday, I think, as that was the first day I left work in complete tears… threatening to never come back [...]
Finding a little hope here and there
Posted in coping, eating disorder, faith, friends, honesty, lessons learned, recovery, self-injury, tagged conversation, divine intervention, evidence, faith, grace, hope, humility, introspective, journey, logic, love, motive, obedience, process, reason, understanding, victory on January 2, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
The conversation I had this morning with K. was hopeful and encouraging. We spoke of uncomfortable matters and silly things and dreams and aspriations and hopes. She brought up a few situations where I felt uncomfortable and I am almost positive I did the same for her, yet we somehow worked through it… [...]
Quick lunch – not eating – blah
Posted in angry, anorexia, control, coping, food, friends, honesty, weight, work, tagged death, drinking water, druink, exercise, fat, hunger, law office, lunch, New Year's Eve, promotion, RSD, stomach, stupidity on December 31, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I came home on lunch rather than sitting in the break room. My mind is spinning, my thighs feel fat, and I’m starving. I’m doing pretty well with the no gluten and no soda’s while at work; water is even going down easier. Quiet time hasn’t really happened much besides listening to [...]
