My last entry was actually a draft that I wrote up mid-week and thought I would publish — it makes me laugh now that I look at it/ read it! It was written on Wednesday, I think, as that was the first day I left work in complete tears… threatening to never come back [...]
Archive for the ‘control’ Category
Week from hell…
Posted in angry, anxiety, boundaries, braces, control, faith, friends, honesty, lessons learned, orthodontics, recovery, relationships, self-injury, work, tagged debanding, emotions, Friday, God, hell, hygenist, Monday, music, orthodontist, pink eye, powerchains, sponsor, Sunday, telephone, Thursday, Tuesday, Wednesday on February 7, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Quick lunch – not eating – blah
Posted in angry, anorexia, control, coping, food, friends, honesty, weight, work, tagged death, drinking water, druink, exercise, fat, hunger, law office, lunch, New Year's Eve, promotion, RSD, stomach, stupidity on December 31, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I came home on lunch rather than sitting in the break room. My mind is spinning, my thighs feel fat, and I’m starving. I’m doing pretty well with the no gluten and no soda’s while at work; water is even going down easier. Quiet time hasn’t really happened much besides listening to [...]
Some realistic goals for 2009
Posted in anorexia, boundaries, bulimia, change, control, crochet, eating disorder, faith, food, honesty, palm, recovery, self-confidence, self-injury, self-worth, weight, tagged 2009, caffeine, exercise, floss, gluten-free, goals, going green, quiet time, reflex sympathetic dystrophy, resolutions, RSD, soda pop, water on December 28, 2008 | 3 Comments »
I wrote earlier on faith, which felt liberating. After writing here, I then had enough of my cobwebs out to compose a heartfelt and honest email on faith to a friend — now all I must do is await her reply.
Anyhow, I didn’t really speak of any specific goals last time because… well… it [...]
A new trigger…
Posted in Celebrate Recovery, church, control, coping, faith, fuck off, guilt, honesty, lessons learned, pain, recovery, relationships, self-injury, self-mutilation, shame, stress, tired, tagged AA, blood, celebration, church, cutter, emergency room, grace, scars, self-harm, stitches, vagina on October 26, 2008 | 1 Comment »
It has been one hell of a past three weeks and now I’m almost not sure what to do because well, it appears as though fertility is my latest trigger – actually, it has to do with the blood my body is passing as result of me not getting pregnant this month. I cannot [...]
New new new new new
Posted in anorexia, braces, change, church, control, coping, damon brackets, eating disorder, exhausted, faith, friends, hugs, insomnia, orthodontics, scared, self-injury, self-worth, shame, stress, tired, weight, tagged call center, choir, God, new job, overwhelmed, print shop, singing, thoughts on September 10, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I quit the new job at the call center.
Took the job at the print shop.
Still work at the grocery store.
Changed my orthodontist appointment.
Having strong eating disorder thoughts.
My new job leans on my faith.
Haven’t cut in almost 2 weeks.
Struggling to sleep through the night.
I’m thankful for Spooky being back in my life.
Overwhelmed, tired, and exhausted.
Talked with [...]
Changes
Posted in braces, change, control, deaf, exhausted, faith, friends, love, privacy, scared, school, self-injury, self-worth, sick, sleep, stress, teaching, tired, unemployed, work, tagged best friend, call center, deaf, graduate school, high school, new job, relay, scars, worry on September 8, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I am going to turn in my equipment and get my final paycheck today at Relay. I know I don’t work there anymore, but today will be my last day ever to go there… until I file wrongful termination and get our little lady friend Sonya fired.
I called the school I interviewed with and [...]
Randomness
Posted in anorexia, braces, bulimia, change, control, coping, crochet, eating disorder, faith, feelings, food, friends, gratitude, insomnia, lessons learned, love, self-injury, sleep, stress, weight, tagged afghan, apartment, beauty, braces, community, crochet, diet, elastics, floss, grocery store, guys, lease, marriage, originality, pattern, purging, quality, rubber bands, sacker, scars, school, sleep, sleep deprivation, sour, sour candy, swimming, teacher, tears, teeth, walls on August 22, 2008 | 1 Comment »
- I think, well I hope I think, I have come up with the dreamest afghan to enter the local fair with. The pattern is complicated, yet simple in technique (except for the detailing), and is culturally significant. The theme is relative to the community right now and I believe it will stand [...]
