I’m just upset. I’m hurting and I’m upset and as much as I want people around, the more I want to be left alone to figure all of this out. Sleep deprivation isn’t helping any in my rationale either…
I’m upset about what happened with Jen and I’m feeling totally overwhelmed when I think about the last few months/ what has taken place. I’m very discouraged and feel out of control looking back on all of it. The shame hit me this morning and the loneliness of it all hit me again last night. I can’t, muchless have the time to sit down and work through all of this right now — but it creaps up and over me.
Maybe it is better that I’m left alone for a while. I can’t handle being around people. Isolating isn’t the answer either, I know… but this pain has to stop. If I isolate, I create less pain in others because I’m not around to inflict it.
I’m mad and I don’t know what to do. Whenever stress hits me, I try and revert back to who I was – I just don’t have the strength to stand firm in who I am becoming.
