… myself.
Blaming myself is easy and it is something I am very good at, even though it is not a fair thing to do – muchless a realistic one. I am not the center of the universe and the world does not revolve around me.
My world revolves around my interactions, responses, and interpretation of my environment. This does not mean I am in control of anyone or anything, not even myself, because according to basic recovery principles — I have no control, it belongs to God.
I can’t control other’s reactions. I can’t control who loves me and who hates me and what people think of me.
All of this lack of control just makes me want to cut myself into oblivion. I can control how much I cut and how much I hurt. NO ONE can take the pain of self-injury away from me and no one can give it to me. I deserve to hurt.
This all makes me angry.
